My forthcoming book is titled “Unholy Alien” !!!
(to be fair it has been “forthcoming” for a couple of years now!
I don’t know about any of you, but when I was taught Physics at school it was taught so badly and was appalling! I didn’t learn very much science despite being at my snobby grammar school, apart from how to make pretty pictures with magnets and iron filings, and something else about tuning forks (not a clue what!) so I dropped physics like a ton of hot bricks as soon as I was able. The fact that I was already a mental and emotionally disturbed teenager, quite suicidal and terrified of school did not help!
But as I have grown and recovered from my early traumas, indoctrinations and creationist nonsense, I realise that missing out on learning science properly was such a dreadful shame.
If anyone had told me back then that I was “made of stardust” I might have stayed around in those physics lessons to find out why. Stayed to hear the rest of the wonders of the Universe as seen through the eyes of science.
I do that now of course, but I can’t help being furious that I missed so many years of all that wonder.
I believe that a wonderful way to start anyone’s recovery from childhood abuse, is to strip everything back down to the absolute basics, begin with the real evidence – that we are made from the stars, and that we are each one of us a unique irreplaceable individual. There has never been anyone exactly like you before, and there never will be again!
You are a “One off”. Starting there, knowing this, is hopeful and exciting.
All the other piles of crap that were layered upon me had to be really stripped down to this in order for me to make any real sense of my existence. I had been blinded for many years, and desperately fumbling around in the dark for answers.
I have been many things in my life, and tried many roads to recovery, and I think I learned a little from each one, absorbing the best of each. But it has been re-discovering and falling in love with science that has made the lasting difference, learning that I am part of nature, part of the universe, part of the stardust that makes everything, that has finally made me feel I have some worth, some sense of belonging when for many years I felt like an alien in this world that I so badly wanted to be part of.
So in the book that I am writing, my intention is to explore objectively the damages done to me and others like me, taking out all of the emotive nonsense, and using the scientific evidence, (along with some tips and tricks I have learned in my other roles and professions as I stumbled into something resembling wholeness !) to create a stellar “5 star” recovery programme that all survivors – no matter where they come from can use in order to regain their own “stardust” existence.
The scientific principle to me is the only way to do this, and so with solid evidence, and help from some people who are so much cleverer than I, we can perhaps ignite the passion for freedom and wonder that we have lost sight of during our ordeals.
Along with all of the other cruel lies that kept me tied to that narcissistic catholic regime, I think one of the worst is not allowing me to know the wonderful magical truth of my existence.
I am making up for a LOT of lost time, and I want to pass on a cross pollination of thoughts and inspirations that have helped me!